Advantage But Not For Granted

Little Miss Mary has been having a lot of pretty good days lately.
She wakes up relatively happy and says, "I sleep." Then we go about our morning.
She doesn't like to be told no, but she never really has.
If someone sneezes, or coughs, she calls out, "You alright?" Even if it's from the other room. Such concern for others.
And she's eating a lot better but it's not without battles sometimes. But she is feeding herself, so I say it's a win. Even if she asks for popcorn morning noon and night.
Yesterday she had a blood test to check somethings out for her appointment coming up on Monday. Everything looked good so we're in the clear. She will have a lumbar puncture, plus chemo infusion. She will be given drug we haven't seen before, so I really have no idea how her body will react to it. And she will start back on the steroid she was on the first month. I'm all kinds of anxious for these changes. Maybe it will be nothing and she will be fine but I'm not holding my breath. The good news is she will only be on the steroid for a week (it will be a week on, week off, week on).
With all her good days she's been having lately my heart has been pretty full. I find myself being ever so careful to take advantage of her smiles and laughter but not, even for a moment, take it for granted. We know a couple other families going through similar, but different, things than us. And for right now their "good days" are fewer and farther in between. My heart aches for them. It's confusing to feel gratitude for your own circumstances, even when they feel heavy, and yet have so much concern and heartache for others. I think it's called empathy. I've been overwhelmed, really, how much this experience has changed my views and abilities to empathize. We all have struggles. That's just part of life. They might be similar but none are exactly the same, since no two people are exactly the same.
I've been thinking a lot about comparison. All too often we hear how important it is to not compare our best with other's. Or our worst with their best. I find the same is true for our struggles. We just can't. I find it hard to say, "Well at least I don't have this problem." Because that, in and of itself, is a comparison. For me I'm finding being able to look beyond the problems I do and don't have and truly learn to empathize. Reaching for that is what is stretching me.
This scripture comes to mind.

And now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—  Mosiah 18:8-9

 I think I might be learning a little bit more about what this means and how we can apply it to our own lives.
More and more it is  my hope that Mary will touch hearts. As much as I want to keep her all to myself I want others to find hope in her as well. I want others to feel the joy that comes from one of her smiles.
The other day I was in the store and an acquaintance stopped us. I know who she is, and have talked with her before, but don't really know her that well. She had learned of Mary's situation and wanted to know how she was doing. I gave her the simple answer about her continuing to get chemo and next week starts some heavier stuff. Then she asked, "Do then know if it's working?" When I said, "Yes, it is." Relief flooded her face and she wrapped me up in a huge hug. Then, after the hugging, she proceeded to tell me all about the prayer lists she has put Mary's name on. She even sent the link to Mary's blog to her mom and asked her to add her name to all of her Mom's prayer lists, in three different states. Then she called her uncle in Illinois, who is a member of the LDS church as we are, and asked him to add her. Then he told her, "she's already on the list." When she said those words I had chills run through my body. I believe in prayer. I believe it is a real thing. And when I came away from this little encounter I realized that I, we, always need that reminder. Just how real it is.